who am i?

WARNING: Sign of aging has appeared!!

2006-01-19T08:34:00.000-05:00

Haha. Since yesterday morning, my lower back hurt!! I have no idea why. I didn't pull or push any heavy things. I didn't go grocery shopping either (cuz when I do, I need to carry loads of goods in my back).

It really does hurt! Expecially after waking up.. Haha.
Maybe I should drink more milk~
I always come up with something in my daily life to compensate new things that happen suddenly. For instance, when I gain weight, I'd think about it over and over again about what I did wrong--eat too much? Or not eat properly (3 meals a day)? Then, other people would talk about something, and I would be eavesdropping and copying their tips! Like I did about water. They say that cold water can make you fat--as a result, I stopped drinking cold water and took normal water instead. However, when there's no result, I went back to drinking cold water. n_n
But but.. it doesn't mean that it didn't work.. It just takes soo looong time. Just believe in what you're doing, then it will eventually happen.

[ Notice I said "eventually".. and I don't know when the time comes. Maybe after an hour, a year, or even a century!!! ]

"The sign says: DON'T WALK"

2006-01-17T21:37:00.000-05:00

Small things can make you feel incredibly bad... *sigh*

This morning.. well, not really morning, since it was already 11am. I was walking towards school. I had to cross the road, but when I stepped onto the road, the sign was flickering into the red hand--blinking. As far as I know, it means that I'm already on the road, so I need to keep walking but quickly. At the same time I was in the middle of the road, there was a car coming onto me. The driver yelled at me, "The sign says: DON'T WALK!"

That person was so mean.. I don't think it was my fault to begin with--it was in fact HIS fault since he was the one who was turning left!!! However, I kept thinking about what he said and kept feeling bad~ -_-"
I hate me who's always thinking about something not wrong!!! I always feel so bad just cause of that~

Update on my new hair: So far so good. Here are some responds:
"Nice haircut."
"You look............ different!"
"You had a haircut!"
"It looks nice."
"You cut your hair."
"I like your haircut."

P.S. I can't watch TV!!! This is sooooo bad~ I can't live without TV! I can't even know the weather >.<""

Wash away my.. er, fat?

2006-01-15T21:03:00.000-05:00

Haha. That's what I was thinking when I was showering. You know.. water makes you clean, so I thought, 'Can't water wash away fat too? Since it's something people won't want too much of.'
Just a thought..

Awesome saying: "They say a long road tests the strength of the horse, and time tests the heart of a man." -어머니 from Sweet 18.

On behalf of someone, I'm apologizing to that old man.

2006-01-14T19:28:00.000-05:00

Haiya.. I went to downtown today. My friend's birthday. But he didn't pay for us. Well, it's not quite right for us if we let him pay for us since the restaurant is quite expensive. I didn't know it was that expensive. If I had known, I wouldn't have chosen that one.. Probably a cheaper with great ambiance one! n_n

After that, I had a haircut!!! OMG~ I can't believe how the hairdresser just cut my front part of my hair (bangs). I already told her that I want it to be longer.. -_-"
When I was seeing how she cut it all SO quickly, I felt like crying. Of course I didn't!
Especially with my type of face.. I was sooo damn afraid that it would look so weird. Plus, on Monday I have school!!! >.<"
In the middle of the cutting, she said to me, "Who are you? Who are you?" I didn't understand what she meant, did she mean my name? Has she seen me before? Has she forgotten that she's been working on my hair for the last half hour? Haha. So I asked her, "Do you mean.. my name?" Then, she replied to me, "No no, you look different now. I can't recognize.."
'Aaaa... she's trying to joke! Now I get it,' I thought.
In the end, the hair is not that bad. But the bang is STILL too short! I do hope the bang won't bother my view..

Now.. about the big topic. I was on the bus on my way home when I saw an old man keep looking at my friend. After a while, the old man stopped looking and walked towards the back of the bus and sat next to me. He asked me in Chinese if I can understand Mandarin. I said, "No.. Sorry."
I was feeling bad cause I didn't understand. Only if I had obeyed my parents when I was a kid, I could've been able to talk to him. I know he wanted to know how to get to someplace. But this language barrier won't let me tell him how. Then, he asked his next person. But the other man didn't speak his language either. Poor him.. -_- He kept looking at the road. I'm thinking that he must be so confused about where he was headed.
Thank God! There was another man coming into the bus, and he could speak Chinese. It was good that the man was willing to help the old man. He even asked the bus driver to give the old man a transfer ticket to the other bus instead of just telling the old man that he was on the wrong bus^^

New year's resolution?

2006-01-14T09:44:00.000-05:00

Did you make any new year's resolution?
Did you still keep it?
What are they?

Loads of questions like that.. I actually didn't make any. Why? Just simply cause I know I won't keep them. I will just forget them in one day! That's no good. However, how would I know if I haven't tried having any? Hmm.. That's quite true. That's why I'm here. I think I'll make some.
This is tentative by the way. n_n

First, I have to sleep early* everyday with some exceptions apply during no-school days.

Second, I should get more exercise and eat more veggies so that I can grow taller. (A suggestion by some friend who keeps saying how s/he can't believe how short I am)

Third, I have to start cooking~ It's been sooooooooo long since I last cooked a decent meal**. I rarely can remember it.

Fourth, I should prevent myself from stayig in front of computer for so long.

Fifth, I seriously need to read textbooks since the beginning of semester--not a week before the exam and rush to jot down all important notes.

Sixth, I HAVE to finish all Korean movies I've downloaded + bought! This is the fun thing to do. I'm sure I'll be doing this one a lot!

Seventh, I have to go out every day. This means letting myself feel the freshness of the world--the sunshine, the breeze, and the view. Staying inside the house for a couple days is bad already cause I don't get any sunshine.

I think this is it for now. Those are small things, aren't they? I can't think of the big picture for now. Let's see if I can keep the small stuff first, then move on to the bigger ones.

EDIT: Added some stuff.

*Early means between 10-12 at nite.
**Decent meals exclude those frozen food such as dumplings and microwaved food, and those simple pasta (the noodle + sauce).

It started with a weird feeling..

2006-01-13T16:04:00.000-05:00

Topic of the day: L.O.V.E

Wahaha~ It's such a common topic. I just want to say what has come to my mind. So.. here it is.

It is supposed to be perfectly fine to like someone who has a bad first impression, right? I mean, first impression doesn't mean the world--doesn't mean it's always correct. In addition to that, I could have misinterpreted the action. I admit that I have very little experience in knowing people--observing people's behaviour and telling right away what the personality is like.
Also, it's pretty normal to change how you feel about someone after knowing him/her for a while.

Thus.. we can conclude that it's okay. Anyways, I don't think this makes sense. n_n

For Anonymous.. Great to be such an inspiration for you! Muahahaha.. I'm just a tad too proud of myself, hoho~

Life's been treating me quite well. I was having a tremendous headache yesterday, I didn't know such little things could have such BIG impact. What's bad is that I didn't even notice it. AT ALL.. I was just trying to be nice, get to know people, get people to know me. I didn't know it was going to end up like this. However, it's all good now. My friend and I have resolved it very well! Thanks for all the support, my people! I think I've gained something more in this life~

Message for those who said "life sucks": Think again~ I'm pretty sure you haven't sought enough. I'm pretty sure that you haven't seen the world/life from the other side of the "hand". Life is not that bad after all. Picture life as a looooong stairs. When you see it from the first step, it's as if the stairs do not have an end--you feel scared. But once you ensure yourself that it's gonna be okay, that it will all work out, hiking the stairs is not that bad. Once you've reached the top, you'll feel exhilarated.

It's weird.

2006-01-11T19:09:00.000-05:00

[ I do realize that this will be my second post of the day ]

Hmm..
It's weird, you know. Having different emotions for different people.
It's weird.. Liking someone who's "scary".
It's weird that I can't even find the reason.

Anyway.. I don't know what I want to say. I just want to let gooo..!! Wish it's easy~
-_-"

They might surprise you!

2006-01-11T12:41:00.001-05:00

How do you get surprised?
- Talk to those people who you never think of having a conversation with.

Just last night, I chatted with my aunt. She was feeling lonely as her two sons are overseas. I never really talked to her before. However, she made me think about my future. In my mind, of course I wouldn't really give a thought about that. I don't even know what I want to do with my life. And the topic was marriage--whom you're going to have a longlasting relationship with. She was saying about how her first son told her he enjoyed being single and would look for a partner back home when he graduates. Well, that's what I have always had in my mind. Well.. not really. I always change thoughts and stuff.. and I'm easily influenced. I had a conversation like this just before with my aunt with my friend here. He said that the point of coming here to this country is of course to settle here and raise a family. That's not exactly what's always been in my mind. BUT.. it makes sense. You always hope for the best~

And then.. he also said that if I go back home, then what's the point of ever coming here? Plus, it's too late to find Mr./Mrs. Right by the time you graduated from school.

Age doesn't really matter, does it? This is so confusing.. and I HATE deciding something. Therefore, I should close this matter now hehe.

Holy cow! I feel like floating~

2006-01-10T16:36:00.000-05:00

Hehe.. I've never actually said "Holy cow" out loud. I just do it in my heart cuz it kinda sounds rude even if I don't mean it in a rude way--just in an amazing incredibly cool way^^

Anyway! What made me say those words? When I was walking home, the sky was still blue (unlike yesterday). The sky was so blue with some snow-white cloud. Because on my way home there is this park, so there is no houses around it. It looks like just some wide green (which is now white cause of the snow) field with some bald trees surrouding it. When I looked up into the sky, the sky felt so close to me.. so huge.. It was as if I was floating, flying in the sky. It really did feel amazing. I wish back home had this kind of place. -_-

In addition to that.. Today is my 2nd day of school, which is a pretty good day for me! I got a gift from my friend who said I was a cutie yesterday^^ Thxx~
Afterwards, me with two other friends went out of school to have lunch. It was quite a long walk! With going uphill back and forth~ We went there hungry, we went back hungry too! Haha.
My two other friends are great. I feel good around them too--I don't feel intimidated nor speechless. They are not as loud as my other friends, haha. And, they're indecisive just like me.
And, they're from different countries. Awww~ I'm so multicultural.

Advice of the day: Don't expect anything from anyone! The higher your expectation is, the less the chance you're getting it up to your expectation. I hate it, but it's true. So, no more expectation to anyone, just do what you have to do. (^ . ^)v

Just look at those..

2006-01-09T18:07:00.000-05:00

written right after I got home.. see how much I love you >.<~ You'll be amazed at how anything can define your face expressions. When I was walking home (for around 20 minutes cuz I was quite enjoying the view and mild weather), I saw two things.

First is about the public transit--the bus. The driver (let's say the driver was a male) stopped the bus for some people to get off the bus. I know he had to make a left turn on the next traffic light which was very close. So he quickly turned the vehicle to the left..and then I saw this lady who wanted to get on the bus. Realizing that the bus was driven away, she ran and knock the bus. Apparently, he didn't see her. 'Aww..', I said to myself. However, he drove back to the right. I don't know why..but I suddenly smiled just cause of that. n_n

[ Yes, I'm weird.. ]

Second is about an old man outside the library close to our place. From faraway, he looked like those scary-looking gangsta' type of guys. And he was smoking. I always have this negative impression of people who smoke.. Not that everyone who smokes is a bad person. Anyway! I tried to walk faster since it's dark already. After passing him, I heard him coughing. I said to myself, 'For God's sake, quit smoking! ..old and coughing like that.' That made me feel grumpy.. -_-"

OH OH! Today's our first day of school! Back to school~ I thought I missed school, but in the morning, I got stomachache cuz I felt nervous.. >.<" So I don't think that was any good.
Plus.. I was late too. Last semester, I figured out that the later the school starts, the bigger the chance that I go late! I have no idea why. I think it's cause there is more time to spend for relaxation.
First class.. it was okay--no friends. I've become even more shy around new people. Grrr..!! I don't want to be like that!! I'll try harder tomorrow. The good thing is I saw my old friends too. There is this girl, she's very outgoing and friendly and loud! She said, "I missed you! You're such a cutie!" (It's a boost for my confidence, as I put it)
I wanted to reply in the same way as she did--all cheerful and stuff, but I couldn't. I just hope she's not offended or something. Or or..stop being my friend~ >.< Haha.

Back on the road

2006-01-07T16:28:00.000-05:00

After mom + dad have gone back home, I have been utterly bored!! It feels like there's nothing I can do now.. School hasn't started yet, that's why I can't really find anything except being a couch potato~

O well, yesterday we had fun just going out. After spending two days in the underground dwelling without sunshine, we went out and realized how sunny the sun is haha. The restaurant is where our first destination was. I tried 오므라이스 (omu rice if I write it correctly). It was not good at all.. I could only taste the fried beef.. and ketchup which I added later on. I guess I'll try something else at some other time.

Featured Pic: Gloves! We need them since yesterday was uber cold~ -18 C!! How could we be stuck here with that cold weather!!!! When parents were here, there wasn't a day when it's THAT cold!!! Transfer! We need that as well to ride on any bus. Novel! We need it to keep us company.

Started and Ended with BLOOD

2006-01-05T22:34:00.000-05:00

the title says it all...

[ T H E E N D ]

Haha.. Of course that wasn't the end. Well.. it's about the beginning + ending of my parents' visit to my place here. O MAN! I didn't realize that they could be connected like that! oK oK, I think you're saying in your mind, "What the hell is this person talking about?"

So, let's begin from the first. It was an okay day after my last exam which is also the day when my parents are arriving here. Just like any good kid, I decided to clean up the house before they came. =D It was time to rub off all the dirt in the washroom when I accidentally cut my finger with the mirror (Don't ask me how..). I couldn't believe how much blood I wasted. It was all over the sink in there, and it wouldn't stop bleeding.. So weird.

Second thing is.. which happened on the last day of the visit. When I was at the airport, I received a phone call from my cousin who wanted to express his farewell to my parents. So I walked to my mom and not really realizing that I was standing under the trunk door of a van. The owner of the van apparently tried to close the trunk door, and BANG! The edge of it slammed my head. I was rubbing the spot where it got hit when I noticed something wet.. I saw it, and it was blood. It was so scary for me.. I've never had blood coming out of my head before. I don't even like the idea of that! >.< I just cried and cried wanting this to be just one of my nightmares..
Fortunately.. It was only a small ... shall we say "cut"? I think I am okay now. But at that time, I was so scared that I might lose my mind! Crazy~